Steve and I made this song. We spent an evening watching old Corey Haim clips and sampling them. This one in particular made us laugh.
I admit that it started as a somewhat mean-spirited snarky sampling joke: Look at the silly doped-up pop star so full of himself. Making vanity projects by his pool, stammering and saying silly things. Playing single notes on the keyboard, thinking he was a certifiable genius, an "Einstein" (Corey's words). It was easier to reinvent Corey in two dimensions.
As we were making the song, I was aware of the irony. Steve and I were also "dibble dabbling" (Corey's words again) at the keyboard, not really knowing what we were doing, either. And how can I fault Corey for having a vanity project? Every song I've written is vanity. Art is vanity. Corey was just giving it a much harder sell.
Corey enraged me after a while. I wanted to shake him. "Stop saying such silly things!" I want to shout in his face. "Wake up, dummy! Live up to your potential, you lousy punk!"
Upon repeated listenings, as edits and overdubs were made, I started to understand what Corey was saying. Yeah, I'm sure he really DID feel intense. John Ritter? Totally believable. John Ritter probably seemed like a father figure. His own father and sister were miles away in Canada. Was Corey the sole bread winner for his mom and himself? So young. The impact of Hollywood on a mind still forming. It must have been hard to keep track of all the illusions.
Sometimes Corey's words changed meaning entirely. Words that at first sounded ridiculous start to sound brilliant, serendipitous:
"Some one I look up to..uh........um..."
"Learning how to write my feelings down - not my feelings, but my thoughts."
"Immutable."
I've gone through a number of stages as this song was made. The current stage is mainly marked by guilt.
I used to ignore the man. The only reason I am writing about him is because he died.
Goodbye, Corey.
I'm hoping no one holds the song against me. Or Steve.
